Tori's only .16% of what she used to be

Poor Tori. And I mean POOR Tori. She ain't getting no candy this year or next year. If only she had had a bigger first wedding and didn't marry a third-rate actor, she wouldn't be in this big ole mess.

Candy is taking all of Aaron's money and is gonna run....all the way down her 500 stairs, out of her 56,000 square foot estate, out of her bowling alley and into someone's arms who will cherish her for the sweet, eBay-lovin' gal she is. Maybe she'll find her own new little Toto.