In the Month of Halloween, Suri Shall Appear...

The vainest of them all, Tom, will debut his chosen one in the October issue of Vanity Fair. Surely to be leaked out soon, as the issue is being printed this week, the world will soon see this tiny "beautiful and amazing" creature who looks just like her parents - whomever they may be.

Of course I'll be curious to check this issue out....the world is still in flux until she appears for us all to worship. The sun will shine, birds will sing and all of the Scientologists will begin to chant in silence as their newfound leader is now able to prove her existence.

But it is rather perplexing that Suri will apear in October, the month of all that is wrong and evil in the world. Will she be real, or just a baby doll come to life, the child of Frankenstein?

Laguna Beach x3

I finally caught the new season of Laguna Beach. I know it was just the first episode, but already several of these kiddies annoy me!

But first let me discuss the oldies: the scene with both Alexes, Taylor and Jessica? Classic? Now that they are all BFF, hating Kristen cause she's more famous (though sounded too much to handle to me) and Jason/LC for their love (handles) - ouch, what a jab from Alex H! Poor Jessica, she's the reluctant 'star' from past seasons on this new one for her cradle robbing of Cameron, who is so going to ditch her. Will that girl ever catch a break in love? I wonder how much time we'll see the oldies on this new season?

Now on to the newbies. Isn't Cami the one Jason took to prom but then ditched when he made out with Alex M? I didn't like her back then and was surprised when he picked her from all the LG litter; must have been forced to as a preview for this season?

I'm still getting used to some of the names, but so far Tess seems like a normal one, hence her narration of the show...but look out, Kristen and LC once had that coveted spot! Kyndra annoys me, but a little less than Casey did, so we'll see how that 'mean girls' thing goes. I don't get the Rocky girl yet, sure more will come on that.

On to the boys. Seems like there is an interesting lot there. Chase the rocker, Cameron the lover, Kelan (not sure what his thing is yet)...etc, etc. I'm sure there will be a Jason among them. I'm not all that keen on Cameron, but I assume he becomes a resident bad boy or heartbreaker for all the buildup they are doing on him.

With Love, From Mexico

Wow, this picture just sent chills down my spine. I was wondering if I would be able to get through the Summer without seeing yet another picture of my favorite couple.

I'm not sure if it's their heartfelt greeting or the strange angle in which they are standing to make him look like a hairy giant and her a little girl in a frilly bathing suit, but it certainly doesn't make me count down the days til their wedding!

I'd rather see Tom and Katie wed in my backyard!

Kate's Afraid of Scissors!

You know, it's really sad when couples get divorced. Especially those with kids. But what's even sadder is the fact that Kate can't get over the fact that her son is NOT a girl!

Look at this kid's hair - it is ridiculous! I wonder if this was the root cause of the relationship's downfall?

She's probably taking this poor kid to get his nails done or shop for a new dress.

Kate ~ wake up and cut this boy's hair!!

Matt's New Job

Perhaps because he lost out on BFF to Lance, Matt is taking on a new role ~ photographer of random kids on the beach?

Barely looking like himself, Matt is enjoying his summer on the beach, viewing the sites. Maybe this kid just ran up to him as he was snapping some shots of the local ladies?

Free Katie from Tom's Closet!

You've just got to love Star! True or not, they tell you what everyone is thinking anyway. The only bullet missing is that her baby is really an alien that Tom bought from John Travolta and the headline should have read: Poor Katie TRAPPED in Tom's closet!!

Now, Nic really does look preggo in that picture, but they really should just leave J.Lo alone. Not that I'm a fan of her and Skeletor, but give the girl some peace on the baby thing.

And Mel....well, yes he does seem a bit crazy; or a least looks a bit demented in that picture.

Who's that Simpson?

What did Daddy Simpson do with Ashley?

She looks like a completely different person. We all know he thinks Jess is the sexy one; but is he trying to turn Ashley into Laura Ingalls?

I actually think Ashely looks better, but that outfit is a bit much -- then again so is Jessica's.

Hills-billies

Look, it's our favorite ditz and fashionista duo! They were apparently making the rounds at a Teen Vogue event; not sure if they were 'workin' it or if they have crossed that velvet rope to VIP status. With all of the publicity they got the pub, I'd have to imagine the latter.

Is it just me, or is the editor Lisa trying to do her best 'Devil Wears Prada' impression? I guess with creative editing, anything is possible.

Anyway, back to these two. LC looks sunny and so like California and Heidi looks just a tad underdressed. Unless they are on the beach, I think a coverup would have been appropriate here.